By Mitya Indursky
Bollocks! We need to rewrite history yet again! They’ve bluntly lied to us announcing the victorious outcome of the War of Independence. The reality on the ground points otherwise. The sound of the drums of war banging is still loud enough to be dismissed.
A significant part of the American population, especially in the South East, is quite reluctant to bid farewell to arms. These intrepid citizens are still at odds with the British Crown.
Their offense is unstoppable, as their success is imminent, thanks to the “creative minds” of their numerous “soldiers.” It looks like the latter have finally found a truly deadly explosive mix to change the tide of war in their favor.
The future of the ongoing fight with the “ugly” remnants of the British Heritage such are the ROUNDABOUTS, looks so bright that I should wear shades!
Our intrepid proponents of the hit-and-miss technique had once again proved that beauty is indeed in simplicity. It would make Archimedes change his mind, and take a shower instead of enjoying a bath. All you need is just a pinch of an everlasting American ingenuity mixed with a scary high dosage of cluelessness and unreasonable doubt.
Now, from the theory to an immediate application. The latter is rather flexible and consists of two inclusive, kamikaze-like approaches. Let’s quickly check both, since (as mentioned before) they would put Archimedes into a vertical position instead of a well-known horizontal one!
Number one.
Unreasonable Doubt
Should I enter the roundabout now or let the car already on it pass, and go after it, before the vehicle behind me will send me and my vehicle to a separate, but nevertheless joyful afterlife parties? Oh, I know, let me crawl to the roundabout instead, hoping that the famous Southern Hospitality would make my fellow driver slow down. Boom, dead, and no sweet tea and grits for you whatsoever! And, chances are your fellow driver won’t be able to enjoy the Southern delights either!
Number two.
Cluelessness
Thank G-d I am on the roundabout in one piece. However, there are fellow drivers on my right waiting to get on the damn circle. I need to stop and let them go!
Nah, you don’t, may your heart be blessed from here to eternity! You are not in a damn France! You are on a damn roundabout in your beloved South East with a big truck right behind you! Boom and the Angels would start singing Ave Maria, but you won’t hear it! No grits and sweet tea for you as well, may Seinfeld and the War of Independence be blessed!