Are you rooting for Will “Oscar” Smith or the “slapstick” Chris Rock? Should we support the “Burned by The Sun” Gov. DeSantis in his “zip it up” gay school law in Florida or stick with the long-time ”mutant chronicle” subscriber Ron Perlman – who called him a “nazi piece of shit.” And, finally, should the nation overcome its obesity by buying a gym membership (and never using it), or running a marathon in support or disgust of the male transgender athletes competing against women.
These are the most intriguing topics evading shrinks couches (sorry guys), but blanketing the American Community to a point, where even a well build bunker would produce an echo with a spin.
The intellectual and political elites across the country are heavily debating the aforementioned subjects despite a highly possible disruption of their honorable digestion systems. Consequences-heartburn, indigestion, diarrhea… and the trophy goes to Peptooooooo Bismoooool!
While in the outskirts of the Community, the simple folks are voicing arguments in their well-known meeting spots, such as local McDonalds and Walmarts. The outcome of this “filibuster” will only cause a shortage of grits, sweet tea, and fried chicken millions of consumers can’t live without!
In my book of absent wisdom, who the fuck cares! Neither event will change my daily life or that of my friends no matter who they are! All of this crap is as important to me as the fifty-year-old knickers of The Rolling Stones roadie sold at an auction at a Crackle Barrel.
Except for the one where the transgender athletes are exhausting themselves competing against real women. I still wonder, why these humans can’t have their own tournaments. Wouldn’t it be fair? Forgive me, I understand that I am living on a different planet. Please, allow me another couple of paragraphs, and I’ll fly back to where I belong with a promise not to return ever (not that I want to).
If we are so concerned about the events that bother the Community psyche so much, let me try to shift your attention to four equally important issues:
1. We should check the status of the Tree Huggers to see if any of them are discriminated against or are denied representation in our elected bodies;
2. I feel sorry for the Kardashians project, cause it looks like their highly lucrative “pimping thy kin” operation is in danger of becoming obsolete;
3. Robert De Niro should come up with a new stunt, hopefully including a wooden tank or a plastic bazooka to attack Donald Trump. Preferably after the latter’s announcement that he is running again, but not specifying where and how;
4. If I’m correct about the preceding three points, the fourth one should advocate for a great number of mental hospitals to appear in our wonderful Communities. Stuffed with TVs paid for by the cable companies, where the masterminds of insanity are very much alive and kicking. Sorry, slapping, running, and swimming with the “Nazi shit!”