Are you rooting for Will “Oscar” Smith or the “slapstick” Chris Rock? Should we support the “Burned by The Sun” Gov. DeSantis in his “zip it up” gay school law in Florida or stick with the long-time ”mutant chronicle” subscriber Ron Perlman – who called him a “nazi piece of shit.” And, finally, should the nation overcome its obesity by buying a gym membership (and never using it), or running a marathon in support or disgust of the male transgender athletes competing against women.

These are the most intriguing topics evading shrinks couches (sorry guys), but blanketing the American Community to a point, where even a well build bunker would produce an echo with a spin.

The intellectual and political elites across the country are heavily debating the aforementioned subjects despite a highly possible disruption of their honorable digestion systems. Consequences-heartburn, indigestion, diarrhea… and the trophy goes to Peptooooooo Bismoooool!

While in the outskirts of the Community, the simple folks are voicing arguments in their well-known meeting spots, such as local McDonalds and Walmarts. The outcome of this “filibuster” will only cause a shortage of grits, sweet tea, and fried chicken millions of consumers can’t live without!

In my book of absent wisdom, who the fuck cares! Neither event will change my daily life or that of my friends no matter who they are! All of this crap is as important to me as the fifty-year-old knickers of The Rolling Stones roadie sold at an auction at a Crackle Barrel.

Except for the one where the transgender athletes are exhausting themselves competing against real women. I still wonder, why these humans can’t have their own tournaments. Wouldn’t it be fair? Forgive me, I understand that I am living on a different planet. Please, allow me another couple of paragraphs, and I’ll fly back to where I belong with a promise not to return ever (not that I want to).

If we are so concerned about the events that bother the Community psyche so much, let me try to shift your attention to four equally important issues:

1. We should check the status of the Tree Huggers to see if any of them are discriminated against or are denied representation in our elected bodies;

2. I feel sorry for the Kardashians project, cause it looks like their highly lucrative “pimping thy kin” operation is in danger of becoming obsolete;

3. Robert De Niro should come up with a new stunt, hopefully including a wooden tank or a plastic bazooka to attack Donald Trump. Preferably after the latter’s announcement that he is running again, but not specifying where and how;

4. If I’m correct about the preceding three points, the fourth one should advocate for a great number of mental hospitals to appear in our wonderful Communities. Stuffed with TVs paid for by the cable companies, where the masterminds of insanity are very much alive and kicking. Sorry, slapping, running, and swimming with the “Nazi shit!”

“Today you should eat the veggies”, my Mom used to tell me when I was a kid, “If you do it, tomorrow I may give you a steak with potatoes.”

The elite in Moscow will take care of Putin, whether the Russians will raise their bloody banner in Kyiv, or the Ukrainians will send them where they sent the Russian Navy ship couple of weeks ago (GFU and jump off the cliff). So the pundits in Washington, and the burbs in Virginia, do say. Putin has lost the war, either way, they insist, it’s only a matter of time.

Difficult to disagree, especially with the latter notion. Everything is a matter of time, and even time itself is a matter (unless one is a hermit in a well prepped Altai bunker dealing with the tranquilized-by-fear in Paris, Berlin, Madrid, Rome, and Washington).

Time is what the Kremlin dictator has despite all the sanctions and overwhelming verbal support of Kyiv coming from the enlightened West. Putin is a murderer, Mr. Biden said when asked a few months ago. Putin is a war criminal, the former basement dweller insisted today.

For once, Mr. Biden is correct, but it took him and his mighty NATO allies exactly 21 days to figure it out. Not without difficulty if we recall the multiple arms twisting. Remember Germany, Italy, Hungary, and others?

Ukraine paid with thousands of killed and starved to death women, children, and elderly, not to mention the destruction of her cities and hamlets while waiting for the very free world and its White House leader to overcome disagreements and BUREAUCRATIC hurdles.

With the speed of a mortally wounded turtle, the mentally old and crippled West schlepped to its communal kitchen to (largely) serve Kyiv the molecular cuisine instead of a steak!

No, I’m not a proponent of the NATO troops on the ground. Neither will I be in ecstasy seeing the NATO planes in the Ukrainian sky. (Honestly, when it comes to NATO I don’t think that outside of our, British and Canadian troops-any other “important” members of the military alliance can really fight! Definitely neither the Germans nor the French. Beer and wine suit them better than carbines and drones.)

I’m talking about the old Russian MIGs and the Patriot air defense systems and the heavy artillery that should have been delivered to Ukraine within the first week of the Russian invasion.

Please, don’t insult my intelligence when it comes to the NATO voting procedure and/or the logistics. Such a powerful military alliance (as it presents itself) should have been able to figure it out. Of course, only if it wasn’t scared to see the Russian war against Ukraine as a matter of urgency, and NOT a matter of time!

Going back to my Mom forcing me to eat vegetables. I hated them then and was too young to understand the long-term strategy. The only thing that came to my mind was “how about the veggies with the steak now.”